So how did we end up in this parallel world again? And why does it suck so much?! - Chapter 1 - ShyHilarity - Harry Potter (2024)

Chapter Text

No one truly knows when living curses appeared in the world; some say they were created by an evil goddess who wanted to hurt her sister’s creations, while others say they were a consequence of the first wizard turning dark. Also, for reasons unknown, instances of living curses have increased tenfold since the death of Voldemort. Due to public pressure as a result of the rise in injuries and fatalities among civilians, the ministry has formed a new division within the auror department, with The Boy-Who-Lived leading them. Harry Potter, the one who defeated the dark lord Voldemort, seems to be moving up in his career. Still, his personal life may just be on the rocks after recent reports suggest that Ginny Weasley has been seen on multiple outings with an eligible bachelor named Lackter Hemmings. Is Harry Potter now single? And if so, who will be able to catch him?! Stick around to find out!

Published in 1988- The Daily Prophet

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Harry Potter had serious issues. Issues he didn’t even realise he had until this very moment. Issues that you didn’t talk to your friends or family about unless you wanted to be a laughing-stock for generations to come. No, this was a problem you mentioned only in therapy, with a lengthy contract about patient confidentiality and perhaps an endless supply of Polyjuice potion.

“Get this thing off me, Longbottom!” Draco yelled as his hands swivelled back and forth, trying to get out of the tight grip of the oak tree whose branches decided to come out to play as soon as Draco had run into the clearing.

Harry clutched his Auror robes tight as another breeze went through him. He stared at the muddy ground, trying to subtly shift his torturous bulge, which would get a nice talking to as soon as they got home. Perhaps Ron wasn’t wrong when he called him a ‘Drama Queen’, but what other than a mental breakdown could make this scene so bloody hot?

In hindsight, it had probably taken Harry far longer than it rightly should have to realise that he was very much gay. But then, could you really blame him? What with having a Dark lord after his arse since he was a baby, surely it made sense that certain teenage discoveries had been less of a priority. However, after a very awkward breakup with Ginny, which involved far too many discussions of erectile dysfunction, Harry had been determined to do some self-discovery. Coming to terms with his sexuality had been easy enough. Unfortunately, it came with the rather horrifying realisation that his brain had an utterly kinky and very much unhealthy obsession with none other than Draco bloody Malfoy. Why was he attracted to the wanker? Harry had no clue, nor did his therapist, though they had recently been speculating that he could be a masoch*st.

“Hold on, Malfoy, just hold on," Neville said, brows furrowed.

"It's... it's going in my pants," Draco whimpered, his voice laced with horror. "This tree is trying to molest me!"

“Merlin help me,” Harry whispered under his breath as he watched the vines flip the blond in the air, his legs splayed wide and his bound wrists dangling below his head. Merlin, apparently Harry was a lot kinkier than he had originally thought. Was this some sort of test? Because if so, he was failing spectacularly. And here he thought maybe his obsession was simmering down.

"You have to stop wiggling and calm—" Neville began.

"Have a horny plant after your arse, then tell me to calm down!" Draco interrupted.

Harry could feel his lips curling, but he refused to laugh at the blonde git. After all, that would draw Draco’s attention, and if the blond turned those grey eyes on him in his current state, there was a very good chance he would cum in his pants, after which he’d have to let the plant eat him to avoid the humiliation.

But then, a stifled snort escaped from his left. “Should we give you some privacy?” George asked.

Harry's head snapped up, his eyes widening in surprise. The ginger was completely relaxed, watching Draco with a vindictive smile. Harry had never seen such a look on his face. Illuminated by the moonlight, his expression seemed colder. It sent a chill down his spine.

“Now’s not the time for you to finally speak, Weasley,” Draco snarled as he continued to struggle in vain. “If you aren’t going to help, then f*ck off and go back to being invisible!”

George's smile faltered, his expression turning sombre—an expression that had become all too familiar since the war. It was something that the whole Weasley clan was affected by, though they hid it well most days.

Harry glared at the blond, who was now swaying left and right as Neville finally managed to get one of his feet out of the branches' clutch. He was silently thanking the gods that his erection had finally faded. “You're being a git, Malfoy.”

“If you want my help on this case, I would suggest you shut it, Potter! Plus, this is your fault!” Draco snapped back.

Right, another reason why Harry has tried to get rid of this ridiculous obsession. Draco was an utter arsehat that despised him. but since the war, his hatred had grown to an unprecedented level, which was impressive considering how they’d hated each other as kids. Every chance the Slytherin had he would try to pick a fight with Harry and his friends, almost as though he sought them out for that reason alone. Not that Harry was any better, but Draco always managed to get under his skin so easily. The point was Harry James Potter and Draco Lucius Malfoy would never EVER happen, for so many reasons that Harry could not list them all, but despite this his body refused to listen to reason.

“Hello?! Earth to Potter?!”

Harry blinked, focusing on the still very irritated Malfoy, who was finally out of the “horny plant’s” grasp and glaring at him accusingly. “Erm, right, I did try to warn you about all the traps for the house,” Harry murmured.

Draco rolled his eyes and began attempting to remove the leaves from his hair. “Salazar, Potter! You said the house would have traps. The house! Not the bloody forest it resided in! Truly are you so much of an imbecile that you can’t give a bloke a proper rundown?”

“If you would have let me fully debrief you, then maybe you would have known…and don’t call me an idiot, prat.”

“I didn’t call you an idiot! I called you an imbecile,” Draco retorted, rolling his eyes again before picking up his wand that had landed in a muddy puddle. He grimaced as he used the edge of his robes to try to remove the mud. “If you hadn’t specifically requested that I take this mission, I would have declined.”

Harry closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You don’t have to be here unwillingly. I'm sure we could find someone else.”

“You know damn well you can’t solve this case without me,” Draco sniffed, spelling his robes and hair clean with his wand. “I’m the best in the department. You lot would perish trying to find all the curses and traps in here.”

Harry winced as his head began to ache. He shook himself, resolved to ignore it; this wasn’t the first, and it wouldn’t be the last. He’d been plagued with recurring headaches for the past year or so. Hermione had tried everything from warnings to lectures to outright threats to get him to have it checked out, but he truly didn’t think it was a big deal. Having to constantly block spells coming at you, being tackled, punched, and even whipped… Yeah, whipped. The occasional headache seemed like a normal response.

“Look, Malfoy, we have a way of doing things here, and they don’t call us the suicidal division for nothing. . We have plenty of experience dealing with extreme cases, so if you want to leave—.”

“Spare me the considerate act, Potter. Draco sneered. “Don’t think I don’t know that you not only rejected my application to your little ‘Happy Campers’ unit, but your stated reasoning was what again?” He tilted his head to the side as though in thought before giving a smile that was colder than the night wind blowing through the forest. “Hmm, what was it? Too wild? Too passionate? Ah, no, no, too emotional, yes, that was it!” He seethed.

Harry blinked in shock. “sh*te! Malfoy, you shouldn’t know–” Harry began.

“Ah, yes, was it classified?” He replied. “Guess the rumour mill is stronger than you thought. So imagine my surprise when two weeks later, Shacklebolt himself requested for me to join your little merry crew on this adventure. I suppose my emotions didn’t matter then, seeing as your own very less qualified curse-breaker almost kills himself and you lot!”

Harry watched his face brimming with rage. Sure, perhaps it was wrong and a little unprofessional for him to write that particular reasoning, but they had gotten into a nasty fight that day, and he may have drank just a little bit too much. Even so, Harry had been so sure the blond was playing a prank on him. Why in the world would Draco want to be on the team if he hated everyone in it? Harry had no doubts that the blond would be beneficial to them. He was a genius who had helped solve more cases at the age of twenty-four than any Auror in history. And though the department would never admit it, Draco had saved their necks more times than he could count. Even so, they needed complete trust and coordination for these missions, and Draco had none of those things.

Neville coughed. “Um, excuse me, guys we should–”

“You were not qualified for the missions we take, Malfoy. We have been training for years to be able to fight against living curses, sure you’re an expert on knowing how to deactivate them, and you’ve helped plenty of cases be solved by finding the source, but being on the actual field is much different.”

“Oh right, you think I’m an idiot, Potter? That this—” Draco lifted the robe, showing the mark of a Death Eater. “Isn’t the real reason you decided to not let me join? I have worked my arse off in this department…Helped put more than enough Death Eaters behind bars! And don’t think I’m not well aware that I was only given this stupid position because I knew more about them than anyone else!”

“That’s not enough,” George said.

Draco and Harry turned to look at George, who was glaring daggers at the mark. “That’s not enough,” he repeated, tone firm.

“Excuse me?” Draco snapped.

“You think finding some Death Eaters and disabling some curses will make everyone forget what side you chose in the war, Malfoy, but you're wrong. It's…not…enough,” he said, taking a step towards him with each word. “This isn’t some stupid moral character point system where you can get yourself out of the dog-house, just cause you want to.”

Harry put an arm on George’s shoulder, trying to hold him back, “Come on it’s not worth it mate,” he said, but his hands were shrugged off just as quickly as George reached Draco.

“It will never be enough. You can’t take back the trauma, the pain, the... the dead…” he trailed off, looking down gritting his teeth. With a forceful shake of his head, he locked eyes with Draco, a silent challenge in his gaze. “Maybe you can just move on and try to fix your wrongs, but in the same way this mark is permanent, and so is your history. I will never forgive any Death Eaters, and to me, you never stopped being one,”

Harry stared at George in shock. Did his friend really harbour that much hatred towards the blonde. No, maybe it was just DeathEaters in general? He couldn’t help but look at the blonde in concern. He knew that Draco had made some mistakes, but he also remembered him hiding them when they had ended up in Malfoy manor. He remembered the look of terror in Draco’s face when he was ordered to kill Dumbledore. They had all made some decision they weren’t proud of, but war was intense on all sides, the blonde had been stuck in a tough spot mostly because of his family, was it really fair to judge him so harshly?

He saw a small flicker of emotion pass Draco’s eyes before it transformed into a blank mask. He knew he should say something, anything to diffuse the situation, but the look on George’s face made him pause. There was so much pain it left him a bit breathless.

Draco gritted his teeth: he and George stared each other down for a good minute before he turned around in the opposite direction. “That's it, Shacklebolt can find someone else!”

“Malfoy, wait, you can’t just go back alone! Once we got in here, apparitions were disabled!” Harry's voice rose.

“You can bloody well f*ck off!” Draco replied.

“You insufferable Slytherin! Why do you have to be difficult all the time! You know ignoring a direct order from your captain is room for suspension!” Harry snapped, wincing as soon as the words left his mouth. The tabloids may say something different, but Harry wasn’t one for formality nor ranking. He could care less about how someone addressed him or even acted towards him as long as they got the job done and didn’t give him more paperwork, he was fine, but something about Draco always made him lose his temper.

“Guys, we really should–” Neville began.

Draco turned back around. “Oh noo will I be stuck on desk duty? The horror! How could I ever survive?” He asked, eyes wide, “Oh wait! Already on that!”

“The branches!” Neville exclaimed, causing both Harry and Draco's eyes to snap up towards the trees that had been silently inching towards them in what looked like slow motion.

As though they realised they’d been caught the branches formed into razor-sharp spears rushing towards them at lightning speed.

“Neville!” Harry commanded, as he put his arms around Draco’s waist leaping back, just as the branch on their left hit the space they were just standing in with a resounding thud. He watched Neville kneel, left hand already digging in the dirt as he whispered an incantation.

“Let go of me!!” Draco yelled giving harry an elbow to his chest, before he whipped his wand out and yelled “Diffendo,” on the dark branch just about to pierce through his leg “I can take care of myself, Pothead,” he said pushing Harry back, and jumping into the barrier made up of multicoloured roses.

Harry glanced at George who nodded, before he leapt out of the barrier yelling out “Diffendo!” In quick succession managing to take out 3 branches in one.

Harry shaded his eyes with his hand, as dirt started drifting in the air from the ripples of the wood hitting the ground. “Neville, see if you can make it firmer! I want them to trap the rest of the branches! George, protect him!” He said, eyes already focusing on the big oak tree before it was suddenly blocked by Draco.

“I’m going with you!” He said.

“No need,” Harry replied, trying to go around him, but once again he was blocked.

“I can disable the heart much faster than you!” He Insisted, looking over at the tallest oak tree currently surrounded by a tornado of leaves, blocking its imposing figure from the Aurors’ eyes.

Harry stared Draco down, He knew the slytherin wasn’t wrong. He could definitely disable the curse faster than Harry could. Finding the source of a curse could sometimes be straightforward, like if it’s a doll, the usual place would be its chest or head. If the curse itself is a building, then it would be where energy is gathered the most, usually somewhere along the kitchen or a bedroom, but unfortunately it’s not always that easy. Sometimes a curse can have multiple hearts or be time sensitive, sometimes it’s simply so intricate it takes days just to decode the pattern.

“Mate, we gotta move, Neville can’t keep this up!!” George said, glancing over to them as he cut another branch that managed to wiggle its way into the barrier.

Harry looked over at Malfoy who was currently standing as still as a statue, eyebrows raised. “Head straight, I'll cover!” He said, jumping out of the barrier, ducking when a branch swings out, aiming for his head.

Draco hesitated for only a moment before he ran straight ahead towards the oak tree. The curse must have been a powerful one, because instantly the branches changed their trajectory away from trying to break the barrier, to going straight towards Draco.

“Roll!”

The crunch of the leaves was loud as Draco went down, rolling his body forward just as the branches reached him.

Harry raced after him, casting the cutting hex on whatever branch got too close to the Slytherin. He jumped to the left, barely dodging another attack, but he realised it was a trap too late as another branch appeared from behind the first, swinging around behind Harry and slamming him into a puddle with a loud splash.

Harry groaned, gritting his teeth at the stinging pain as he felt the cold seep into his drenched robes. While trying to wipe what he hoped was mud out of his face, he could hear his name being yelled in the distance. He looked up just in time to see a branch in the form of a knife with its razer edges, coming down towards his heart. Forcing his limbs to move he rolled to the right then the left trying to avoid the attacks.

Grabbing one of the dead branches he had cut off earlier, Harry held it against his chest just as the wooden knife came down on him again. It went through the wood, grazing Harry's side causing a jagged wound. Harry bit his tongue from the pain. Taking a deep breath, he pulled his wand out and cast ‘Flipendo’ causing the branch to be pushed back, allowing Harry to jump back up, hands clutching the wound on his side.

Looking up ahead he saw Draco weaving through the branches with the ease of a dancer, with a mix of backflips, somersaults and well timed rolls. The blonde was most definitely flexible to say the least. How had his physicals been so subpar with moves like that? It makes no sense to Harry at all, but right now he was going to put those thoughts on the backburner. When on a mission Harry understood better than anyone how even a second of distraction could cost a life.

He could feel the pounding of his heart as he pushed his legs to go faster, it didn’t take long to catch up to Draco, who was currently stuck hiding behind another tree as the branches swirled around the ground rapidly causing a sandstorm that blinded anyone from going forward. Reaching the tree, Harry leaned against the wood, taking deep breaths beside Draco.

“Took you long enough,” Draco gave only a glance before looking back at the dust storm.

Harry winced, his hands putting pressure on the wound at his side. “Sorry, got a little preoccupied. No spell can get through that?”

“I’ve been trying to find something that could, but any spell stops them for only a moment before the storm is back. Even getting too close, it's hard to breathe,” Draco replied, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“Okay, I got a plan.”

“Which would be?”

Harry gave Draco a grin before facing the sandstorm. “Inciendo!” The spell shot out of his wand like a bullet, causing a spark of flame. Harry rushed back toward cover as the swirling branches all caught on fire, the leaves making a loud rustle as though they could feel the pain from the wood burning.

Draco stared at him, mouth open. “Potter, that was your plan?”

Harry held up a finger against Draco’s lips as his eyes continued observing the sandstorm. “If the branches burn, it takes the tree a moment to regenerate more, while it’s doing that you run straight past it, I’ll distract the rest.”

Noting the silence, Harry looked up towards Draco who had at least two inches on him. I won’t let them touch you, Malfoy,” he added, thinking it was fear keeping the blonde from replying. Harry stumbled back a few inches in surprise when Draco pushed up

“I got it, no need to be so close,” Draco replied, waving him off.

Harry hoped the dark covered the slight flush on his face. He watched the tree regenerate another dozen attachments. Clearing his throat he pointed at the small bush near the curse. “Once I start the fire again, run towards that bush and––”

“Deactivate it once it starts regenerating, got it.”

Harry gave him a flat look, before shaking his head. “Just love interrupting me don’t you, Malfoy.”

“I wouldn’t if you weren’t oh so predictable, Potter.” Draco replied, smirking.

Harry stepped away from the tree, the crunch of his boots was the only sound in the now-silent forest. He tapped his foot on the ground, wand already aimed. Instantly the branches started connecting, a dirtstorm forming within seconds.

“Inciendo!” He said, feeling the magic go through him, and out of his wand. The flames started on the right engulfing everything in its path before racing to the left, making a blazing circle.

In an instant Draco bursts forward, his hair caressing the side of Harry’s face as the Slytherin swoops past him. Harry had a small grin on his face as he also ran forward. Once they reached the dark oak tree, Harry’s eyes strayed towards the green slime that was slathered all over the trunk. As though hypnotized his hand reached out to touch it.

“Don’t,” Draco’s hand clutched his in a tight grip as he continued looking over the cursed tree.

Harry gave a sheepish smile, though the blonde was too focused on the trunk to notice. “So, what is it?” He couldn’t help but ask a moment later.

Draco kneeled down, taking out a little flask from his bootstrap and then nicking a sample from the trunk.

“Well, that’s one way to bring your equipment,” Harry grinned.

“Shut up,” Draco mumbled. He twirled the flask around, eyes never leaving the tree itself. A few seconds later Draco had a smirk on his face as the flask changed into a vibrant blue. “It’s a hallucinogen, a particularly strong one.”

Harry leaned in, trying to get a better look at the flask. “You got that just from the color changing?”

“I have my methods, Potter.” Draco said.

“But how could you be sure?”

Draco turned away from him, going to the opposite side of the trunk. “If I’m seeing the pattern correctly then this line…” he used his wand to trace along the little jagged lines around the trunk that stopped right along the upper left side. “This must be it.”

They both looked up at the little square hole that was formed on the oak tree. A soft red glow was emitting from it, pulsing to the same rhythm as a heartbeat. Harry took a step back letting Draco walk towards it.

“For someone to be able to draw the curse inside the hole, that’s impressive,” Draco murmured.

“Don’t they have to see if the pattern was made correctly?” Harry asked

“They do,” Draco tapped the side of the hole.

Harry flinched, taking another step back. “Prefer you not to just tap an active curse, Malfroy.”

“Oh honestly, Potter,” Draco said, taking another peep at the hole. “Light,” he motioned towards the hole before pausing, “And just in case you really are an idiot, stand a few feet back before you cast it.

“You really think I don’t know the basics, Malfoy,” Harry took a step back, pointing the wand a few inches above the hole. “Lumos,” he said, surveying the area with his eyes. He could still see a faint line of the barrier in the distance. It seems Neville and George were holding their own against those shapeshifting branches. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the ashes on the ground. Why hadn’t the branches attacked them again?

"Something doesn’t feel right,” he said, looking over at Draco. “How were the branches sensing our location so accurately, but right now they don’t know we are right under the source?”

Draco’s wand movement paused as he looked over to Harry. “Maybe the curse has already used up all its…” He trailed off, eyes looking back to the hole that was pulsing. “It’s going faster.”

“What?” Harry asked, taking a step closer to look.

“It’s going…sh*t!” Draco yelled, “We gotta run now!” He said before racing back towards the barrier.

Harry didn’t hesitate to run behind the blonde. In this line of work if someone said to run, one ran. Trees became a blur as they pumped their legs at full speed towards George and Neville. All that Harry could hear was the stomping of their boots as they got closer. When they finally arrived, Harry took panting breaths as he watched George dodge another deadly branch, before twirling to the left and cutting it in two with deadly precision. “Explain,” he commanded the blonde.

“It’s going to blow! We need to run away now!” Draco pointed towards the empty road going in the opposite direction of the house, which they could see in the distance, only a little bit away from the cursed tree.

Neville used his robe to wipe the sweat that was drenching his face. His face was pale from the excursion of keeping the shield up. Looking up at Draco he pointed towards the tree. “Don’t you mean this way, Malfoy?”

“I know exactly what I meant, Longbottom. We need to move!” He repeated.

George scoffed, turning away from the blonde. “Diffendo!” He said, pointing his wand at the ground to a branch that had tried slithering its way towards Neville. “You expect us to just follow your very vague orders, Malfoy?”

“This whole ‘forest’ is going to explode, Weasley! I’m trying to save your stupid life!” Draco snarled, groaning when all the ginger did was blink at him, while Neville looked at Draco in confusion. Running a shaky hand through his hair, he whirled to face Harry. “Potter, you need to tell your team to run and follow me now! I can’t explain it cause I don’t know how long we have left, but this place is going to be a damn nuclear plant in seconds,” Draco hissed, gripping Harry’s robe.

Harry looked at Draco wide-eyed before turning towards his team. “Neville, on the count of three I want you to drop the barrier and then we will all run full speed in the opposite direction.”

“Oh, you can’t tell me you seriously believe him,” George reasoned.

“I don’t see why he would lie, mate, and I’m not gonna bet your life on it either,” Harry replied.

“Seriously Harry, what if he's just being vindictive and trying to sabotage this whole mission? It’s a Malfoy, does he really care if we're dead?” George looked over at Neville. “Mate, you know how much of a wanker Malfoy can be when he's mad. The house is right there, we would look like idiots and cowards running in the other direction. If we lose the location again, we may never find that house in our lifetimes.”

“Harry!” Draco snapped, tapping his wand on his wrist, like a Muggle motioning for their kids to hurry up.

“You both have your orders,” Harry snapped, shaking his head when George tried to continue. Turning towards Neville, he gave him a small nod. “One, two, three, Go!” He said, lurching his body forward. He ran at full speed trying to put as much distance as he could from the house. He could hear his heart racing as the forest started becoming more and more dense. He glanced up ahead, seeing the rest of the team already past him. Ignoring the twinge of pain on his side, he pushed himself to go faster until he was right beside Draco.

“You better be right about this.” He panted, eyes narrowed at the blonde. Just as Draco was about to reply, the shaking started. Harry looked down in confusion before he glanced back, a gasp leaving his lips. The tree and all the branches that were still alive, as well as dead, were turning a blood red, while the house in the distance completely vanished. “That’s... but how?” He said, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I don’t think we can get far enough.” Draco gasped out looking behind him as the forest started shrieking like a tea kettle that's reached the highest temperature.

“Bloody hell. Everyone on the ground now!” Harry shot his wand into the sky. “Protego Maximum!” He said just as everything turned a blinding white. Harry cried out as the explosion struck his barrier, his body feeling as though it had been hit by a Crucius curse. All he could hear was ringing as he tried to will air back into his lungs.

“Harry!”

His eyes snapped open to concerned brown eyes as his brain attempted to come back online. “Neville, glad you’re okay mate,” he said, tone horse.

Neville simply stared wide-eyed for a few seconds, before gently tapping Harry's temple. “I should be asking you that, you could have killed yourself, putting that shield up alone.”

Harry gave a dry chuckle, “ Well didn’t really have time...” With a gasp, Harry sprung up, wincing when his body screamed in agony at his actions. “ Is everyone okay!” He asked, looking around in horror when he saw both George and Draco lying on the ground unconscious.

Neville gave him a kind smile as he gently placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder pushing him back down. “I’ve checked them both over and they are breathing, but you have a pretty big wound on your side, and you may have some internal injuries so I wanted to get to you first” He said, placing a green potion to Harry’s lips.

With a grimace, Harry gulped it down. “Geez man, this tastes like dead frogs.”

Neville’s face flushed as he put the empty veil back in his satchel. “S..sorry Harry I made this batch myself, and I may have put too much toad,” He stammered looking away.

Harry gave Neville a sheepish smile. “Now that i get a bit of the aftertaste, it actually reminds me of treacle tart! Real yummy” He said looking down at the potion, his nose wrinkling from the smell alone. He looked up to Neville’s disbelieving stare, with a wide smile.

“ Your kind Harry, but I took the potion myself. It tastes like my grandma's farts when she comes back from brunch with her friends,” he said putting a vial back into his pack. “Sometimes she even makes sure I’m in the room before releasing a huge one.”

Harry squinted his eyes. “Thats…” he paused, “There's so much to unpack there mate, but we unfortunately don’t have the time.” He slowly stood up, feeling more of a dull ache than the agonizing pain from moments before. However, the wound on his side was an annoying reminder that he would need to visit St. Mungo’s after this mission was over.

“It’s okay. She was a bit of a prankster in her days, though I’ve been starting to think she’s also a bit mad” He shrugged not looking at Harry. “Do you feel okay?”

“Much much better mate, really your potion worked brilliantly!” He said, reassuringly patting Neville’s shoulders hoping to end that particular topic.

Neville gave Harry a small smile before standing up. “Gonna go check on George and um if you don’t mind checking on Malfoy?” He handed Harry another one of the healing potions.

Harry took the potion giving a small nod “Fine fine, I’ll wake up the arse,” he said, walking over to Malfoy. Crouching down he raked his eyes over Draco’s face. He looks like those pretty elves in the muggle stories Hermione used to read. Harry shook his head. putting his hands on Draco’s shoulders he gently shook him. “Wakey wakey,” when the blonde made no movements, Harry’s shaking became a little more insistent. “Get up Malfoy,” he said leaning in.

In that moment Draco’s eyes snapped open, piercing greys being met with striking green. Turning his body to the side, he closed his eyes tight. “I feel like a bloody griffin ran me over,”

“You and me both,” Harry tapped Draco’s shoulder, while his other hand held out the potion towards the blonde. When Draco finally gave him a glance, Harry motioned to the potion with a quirked brow.

Groaning, Draco snatched the potion from Harry, gulping it down in seconds before laying back on the ground. “How mature potter, did you make this one particularly disgusting just for me?”

Harry looked up towards Neville hoping he hadn’t heard that particular statement, before he looked down at the blonde with a frown. “It works, Malfoy, that’s all that matters.” He not-so-gently snatched the empty vail back, ignoring the blonde’s scowl. “Now if you could explain how you knew that curse was going to explode?” He made sure his voice was loud enough to catch both Neville and George’s attention.

Draco crossed his arms, his eyes looking back towards the Forest that was currently engulfed in fire, Ancient trees that had survived countless wars breaking down and turning to ash. “Because I’ve seen that type of pulsing curse before in a particular textbook called ‘Ancient Unknowns’, heard of it?”

Neville perked up. “Wait, that was one of the optional books they had suggested during training. I picked the one called ‘Green Dangers 101’, had some cursed plants I’ve never seen before.”

Draco raised an eyebrow before slowly nodding his head. “I have some newfound respect for you, Longbottom’, Green Danger’ was a brilliant read.”

Neville ducked his head, his face turning a nice shade of red. “I’ve always loved reading about plants, so I got through it pretty quickly.”

“You guys read those?” Harry and George cried in unison.

Draco scoffed at them as he stood up. “Yes, unlike you barbarians, me and Longbottom would actually like to gain more knowledge. But besides you guys being imbeciles, that was called a Death Bomb, which was originally considered to be a rumour told by some knight back when Merlin was probably alive. It was said that it was a curse put on wizards back when they worshipped the goddess Lamoria. They would consider themselves the sacrifice and she would eat them. Apparently it was basically a way to make sure the sacrifice came to her, otherwise the curse she put on them would start pulsing faster and faster until they exploded, but if you came to her willingly she may just eat a limb.”

Harry wrinkled his nose. “Well, that sounds terrible. Real glad we don’t have to worship her anymore.”

“Well some people still do, but any knowledge of her had dwindled starting in the 1700’s,” Draco said, running a hand through his hair. “But that’s the most concerning part, it shouldn’t be even possible for one wizard to make a curse like this, especially if it was two curses stacked on each other, and for the illusion of the house? I mean why? It’s starting to look like one really big—”

“Trap,” Harry finished, eyes scanning the area. “I was afraid of that, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Someone was definitely hoping we would be caught in this explosion, but why?”

“Oh yes, why in Merlin’s name would people try to kill us?” Draco said, rolling his eyes.

“On second thought, you do tend to make lots of enemies.” Harry replied, ignoring Draco’s incredulous look.

“Says the golden boy who defeated a dark lord? Do you truly realize how many dark wizards despise you, Potter?”

“I…guess I never really thought much about it,” Harry shrugged looking away. He had, plenty of times with his therapist actually, but Draco didn’t need to know that.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if you never thought of anything at all.”

“Stop calling me an idiot, Malfoy.”

“Once again, idiot was not the words that came out of my mouth, Potter.”

“You such a pra–,” Harry paused, hearing George loudly clearing his throat.

“It’s still not possible for us to apparate unless we weaken whatever the power source of this place is, so do we maybe try to just destroy the house from a distance?” George raised an eyebrow at Harry, a small frown on his lips as he looked between him and Malfoy

Harry flushed, taking a step away from Draco. Did his friend already figure something out? Harry had never been one for a good poker face, and though he tried to curb his lust for the blonde, because at some point Harry did realise lust was all it is. His eyes looked beyond the tree’s, trying to see anything through the darkness.

“I have a feeling that the curse of the house and this tree accident aren’t exactly connected. I’ve never heard of an explosion from the other reports, just wizards entering it, and never leaving.” Harry replied.

“But who’s to say the house wasn’t set with another trap?” Neville added.


Harry bit his lips in thought as he looked to the fire that was currently getting closer to the group. “Yes, but here we are sitting ducks, and finding another path will be just as hard. None of us have been in this forest, and if it’s like the forbidden forest, it’s not safe to just hope we can find a path far enough away to apparte.”

“Plus,” Draco interjected pointing north “I have a feeling that they wouldn’t want to risk mingling with the curse of the house otherwise why not just set it up there? A lot of things could set a premade curse off, which could also mean that since they placed the explosion south, the house may be in the opposite direction.”

Harry let those words hang in the air, deep in thought, before he came to his decision. “Alright, let’s head north and hopefully it’s there. George, watch our 6 and Neville in the middle in case we need a full barrier. Draco you’re with Neville in case he needs help. I’ll go up ahead to survey the area.”

“Really gonna trust him to watch over Neville,” George said, glaring at Malfoy.

“I don’t trust you not to curse me from behind either, Weasley,” Draco seethed.

Harry frowned looking over at George. He had always silently followed his orders, no questions asked, but it seemed Draco changed things.“He just saved our asses mate, and besides I’m sure even Draco knows now wouldn’t be a time to be petty.” He gave the blonde a pointed look.

George simply nodded his head, heading towards the back. Neville remained silent as he gathered his sack of potions from the ground.

“Don’t think you can boss me around Potter, I’m not officially a part of your lackeys or have you forgotten.” Draco said, following Neville.

Harry sighed at the stubborn slytherin “You’re supposed to be assisting the mission Malfoy, which does make you temporarily a part of the team, and therefore under me.” He pointed to himself, before walking away with a wave, not wanting to start another pointless argument with the blonde.

The night had not at all turned out how Harry thought it would, and he had a feeling it was not going to get any better.

So how did we end up in this parallel world again? And why does it suck so much?! - Chapter 1 - ShyHilarity - Harry Potter (2024)
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